All these years I have kept believing that life is what we make it.
But I should have realized that destiny greatly influences it.
Least expected things haphazardly cross my path unguarded.
And I will be left here bewildered and puzzled, trying to imbibe the aftershock.
Sometimes words just pop out from my head and I utter things I don’t really mean.
Sometimes I speak without thinking, hurting other people and in the end, hurting my very own most treasured self.
It is hard to admit that a time will come when I have to let go of some things and some people I have treasured for quite a long time just to give myself time to assess and determine what I really want out of my existence.
It is not easy to bid farewell.
It is like facing a vague future, entering a very dark tunnel with nothing to hold on to.
It implies a thousand teardrops and a wall that will part us for a long time or maybe until eternity.
It is not easy to bid farewell.
It is like facing a vague future, entering a very dark tunnel with nothing to hold on to.
It implies a thousand teardrops and a wall that will part us for a long time or maybe until eternity.
Goodbye always comes with a package of broken promises, shattered dreams, squandered hopes and fading affections.
And parting will always follow.
I often wonder ‘what happens next after someone leaves?’
And before I could answer my own question, I will find myself sitting in a corner, crying… until I am too insensible to discern, too deaf to hear, too blind to see, stunned, motionless. Until I realize how much I miss you, then fear confronts me adding more pain, loneliness and desolation.
I will cry once more until I am too numbed to feel.
And then next morning, I will wake up only to find out that I am already drained of teardrops shed.
All that is left is anguish.
A gush of sentiments.
Suffering.
A painful wound.
A cut in my heart that will take a long time to heal, to soothe, to forget and to drift into oblivion.
And still, the struggle to survive another day continues.
And parting will always follow.
I often wonder ‘what happens next after someone leaves?’
And before I could answer my own question, I will find myself sitting in a corner, crying… until I am too insensible to discern, too deaf to hear, too blind to see, stunned, motionless. Until I realize how much I miss you, then fear confronts me adding more pain, loneliness and desolation.
I will cry once more until I am too numbed to feel.
And then next morning, I will wake up only to find out that I am already drained of teardrops shed.
All that is left is anguish.
A gush of sentiments.
Suffering.
A painful wound.
A cut in my heart that will take a long time to heal, to soothe, to forget and to drift into oblivion.
And still, the struggle to survive another day continues.
With the passage of time, amidst all the tears, the sadness and the pain I have gone through comes the one thought that can make me internally smile again: the thought that I have loved and was once loved.
Indeed, most of us are victims of life’s complexities and love’s intricacies.
We have loved and we have lost.
We fell and we stood; unraveling new strengths, finding growth and meaning and another zest for living, a reason to continue, a quiet strength to go on.
We have endured the ordeals of life’s realities counting the gains from our losses.
And here I am another gull in the vast open sky; trying to master the adventure of survival, tracing each memorable episode with every drop of my valued ink.
But now, the perfume lingers indistinctly; the blazing fire that used to warm me has turned into cold embers.
My pen fades, as my longing does, as colors from my canvass did… as the last note of our music faintly echoes in the deepest corners of my heart.
My last tear fell today. Tomorrow… no more, gone forever.
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